Speaker 1: 0:00

And for the rest of us. I will invite us to stand for the reading of God's Word this morning. From 1 Corinthians, chapter 7, beginning in verse 1, all the way through 24, the Word of God reads this way Now, concerning the matters about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman, but because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband, for the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement, for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Now, as a concession, not a command, I say this I wish that all were as I myself am, but each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows, I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am, but if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. To the married I give this charge, not I but the Lord. The wife should not separate from her husband, but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband, and the husband should not divorce his wife. To the rest I say I, not the Lord that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved.

Speaker 1: 2:22

God has called you to peace, for how do you know, wife, whether you will save your peace? For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Only, let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.

Speaker 1: 2:40

Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision, for neither circumcision counts for anything, nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God.

Speaker 1: 2:59

Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called. Were you a bondservant when called, do not be concerned about it. But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself to the opportunity, for he who was called in the Lord as a bondservant is a freed man of the Lord. Likewise, he who was free when called is a bondservant of Christ. You were bought with a price. Do not become bonds, bond servants of men. So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called there, let him remain with God. This is God's word. Thanks be to God. You may be seated. May God bless this reading and preaching of his word.

Speaker 1: 3:39

Mark Twain has a famous story called the Prince and the Pauper, which I'm sure you've recently read. I go back to that regularly. It centers around two young boys who live in London, and Edward Tudor is one of them. He's the young prince of Wales and Tom Canty is the pauper. He's a young beggar boy who lives in the slums and they bump into one another at the palace gates one day and they realize that even though they're unrelated, they look absolutely identical. Tom is the pauper. He's on the run from his abusive father and he's weary of living in the streets and he's always fantasized about life in the palace. If only he was a rich boy living in the palace, surrounded by luxury and attention. If only that were his life. His life would be happy. Well, funny enough, prince Edward has had some similar thoughts. He's grown weary of life in the palace, has had some similar thoughts. He's grown weary of life in the palace, and when he looks at Tom he sees a free boy who gets to play in the streets all day and has no responsibilities. Every moment of Edward's life is scheduled and everything he does is closely scrutinized. He can't be a simple boy as a prince. He must be a king in training. If only he could escape palace life and live as a pauper, then he would be happy, a simpler life outside the demands of the palace.

Speaker 1: 5:14

So they devise a plan, kind of like a parent trap, to secretly switch places and Tom goes to live in the palace and Edward goes to live on the streets. And what happens in the story? Well, at first they're both very pleased. At first Tom is overwhelmed with attention and with luxury. But quickly the pressure of court life begins to set in and he realizes that he has no privacy and no freedom, and he learns that power and luxury comes with heavy responsibility. That power and luxury comes with heavy responsibility.

Speaker 1: 5:45

Edward, now living on the streets, feels free at first, but quickly learns that life on the street is hard. There's danger around every corner, there's cruelty from strangers, there's injustice and powerlessness and there's nothing that he can do to help himself or others. Each of them thought that the other's life would be better and easier, but when they switched places they both found challenges that they never saw, and they ultimately learned the lesson that every station in life comes with its own difficulties, and there really is no such thing as greener grass on the other side of the fence. Every situation has its own challenges, its own pains, its own difficulties, and I bring that up because, if you're visiting with us, we have been walking through a series in 1 Corinthians called Bless this Mess, and this week and next week we're in 1 Corinthians 7, where Paul addresses the seminal issues of marriage and singleness and everything in between in terms of widowhood and divorce and all of these other relational situations, and then, more broadly, as we read toward the end of this passage, he addresses the issue of how to be content with whatever situation we find ourselves in. In our culture there's a lot of pain around these issues, and I think there's always been.

Speaker 1: 7:10

Some of us are married, many of us are married, and when we bump into the difficulties of marriage, especially if we've been married for some time, we imagine how nice it must be to be single and free and we remember the days when we were unmarried. Or we imagine how nice it would be to be single and free and we remember the days when we were unmarried. Or we imagine how nice it would be to be married to someone else we like being. The idea of being married is good, but maybe just not to this person if I had a different spouse. Others of us are unmarried, we're single and we bump into difficulties. When we bump into the difficulties of loneliness and wanting a companion, we imagine how nice it must be to be married, and so both of us turn to Jesus and we ask him to change our situation. If only our situation would change, then our life would be happy. If only we had a better marriage, or a different marriage, or a marriage at all, or we were unmarried. If only that situation could change, then life would be more happy.

Speaker 1: 8:10

But what we learn from Paul in this passage and we'll look at it this week and next week is this invaluable truth that Jesus does not save us by changing our situation. He does not save us by changing our situation Often. He often does not save us by changing our situation, but by changing our heart in any situation. He doesn't save us by changing our situation, but by changing our heart in any situation. And that's kind of the big idea that we're going to be looking at this week and next week as we look at marriage and singleness. So it's going to be specifically related to that. Today we're going to focus more on marriage and we're going to be looking at this week and next week as we look at marriage and singleness. So it's going to be specifically related to that. Today we're going to focus more on marriage and we're going to look at three things the gifts of God, the task of marriage and the key of contentment. So first, the gifts of God. Both marriage and singleness or celibacy. Both marriage and singleness or celibacy I'll use those terms interchangeably, however you want to call it, but both marriage and celibacy are good gifts of God and arenas where God can do powerful work. Both marriage and celibacy are good gifts of God and arenas where God can do powerful work.

Speaker 1: 9:24

Last week we saw, as we read through chapter six or toward the end of chapter six, we saw that some in Corinth had a very casual and very permissive view of sex, like most of the Greek world did. Paul quotes them in saying all things are lawful for me, there's no restrictions, it's just the body, it's just sex. We talked about that last week, but this week Paul addresses those who had swung in the opposite extreme. If you look at verse 1, he quotes them again Some in the church were saying it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. So both of these opposite views were in that church. So what's going on with the second one here, with this opposite extreme.

Speaker 1: 10:07

Well, corinth was a city that was absolutely steeped in sexual immorality, and there's many reasons for this. Corinth was actually. It was a city that had been, it had been destroyed and it had been recently rebuilt and so it was a new city. It was a port city, a commercial city, so it was a place that nobody was from. Corinth it was a place where people went to make the most of an opportunity, an economic opportunity, or to make it financially speaking. So it was a place where people, if you lived there, you were living away from home, you weren't from there, so you're living with a bunch of people who aren't from there. It's full of young people, it was. There was a temple to Aphrodite, the goddess of love, so it was full of temple prostitution, so it's full of sexual immorality and just general sexual energy, like a place like New York City or something like that.

Speaker 1: 11:04

Many who came to faith in Christ likely carried wounds and confusion from sexually broken backgrounds. So you could imagine former prostitutes, former pagan temple worshipers and others entangled in sexual sin in Corinth coming to faith in Christ, and it's not hard to imagine that some of these new believers concluded. Now that I'm a Christian, it would be better for me to just reject sexuality altogether, to reject it completely. I lived that life, I experienced the brokenness of that life and now that I'm a Christian quote it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. And some of these people who were advocating for this were likely even people who are married. So they're married and they're saying I'm done with sexuality, I'm done with sex, I'm going to be an abstinent, celibate person.

Speaker 1: 11:58

Paul's response to this is fascinating because he doesn't say that they're wrong. He doesn't come out and say that they're wrong, but he gives some important caveats. He sort of redirects their intuition. First, paul affirms their intuition. Both Paul and Jesus teach that, when it comes to relationships, there are two gifts from God, two paths that are equally legitimate marriage and celibacy. Look at verses six through nine.

Speaker 1: 12:28

Paul says now, as a concession, not a command, I say this I wish that all were as I myself am, but each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. So Paul is saying there. He's saying look, I'm not commanding anyone to be married. I wish that everyone were like me, were unmarried, like me. And then to the unmarried and widows, he says it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But here's one of the caveats if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. They should, because it's better to marry than to burn with passion. So in other words, Paul is saying this marriage is good, celibacy is also good. Both marriage and celibacy are good gifts of God and both are arenas where God can work in your life and through your life in different ways.

Speaker 1: 13:19

But notice that Paul gives two important caveats. As he affirms the goodness of singleness or celibacy, he says it is good, but it's not good if you're married. So if you're married, celibacy is not a good thing. Celibacy within marriage is not God's design. Or, in other words, a sexless marriage is a problem, and we'll come back to that in a moment. So it's not good if you're married. And he says and it's not good if you burn with passion, if you're unmarried and if you're struggling with sexual temptation, it is better to marry, better to pursue marriage, than to burn with passion, as Paul says. If, however, you're unmarried and you have self-control, celibacy is a wonderful gift. There's nothing less than about it. There's nothing illegitimate or shameful about it. It's perfectly legitimate and a perfectly good way of life. This week we're going to focus more on marriage and next week we're going to look more closely at singleness and celibacy and why it is such a good and surprising gift. But the takeaway for now is clear is that God gives different gifts to different people, and both marriage and celibacy are good gifts of God and legitimate callings. Let me provide a little illustration to help you understand why this is important to grasp.

Speaker 1: 14:44

So about 10 years ago, julie and I hit a difficult season in our marriage. We've been married now for something like 16 years I get the number wrong every time but about 10 years ago we hit this difficult season. We had been married for about four or five years, we had at least one kid we might have had another on the way and we ran into our first major life disagreement. I became convinced that God wanted me to become a pastor and to plant a church, and I thought that the Lord had had really spoken to me on that. But Julie had not heard similarly from the Lord and she never envisioned herself as a pastor's wife and was certainly not interested in planting a church. And so we found ourselves. It felt like we were on two completely different pages, on two opposite banks of a river, moving in two separate directions. And that issue of our life direction became so emotionally charged that we could barely even talk about it, and it was distressing for me.

Speaker 1: 15:43

For a period of about two years, I kept going back to this idea. I wondered if I had married the wrong person to this idea. I wondered if I had married the wrong person and I feared that I was going to miss out on what I was supposed to be doing, what God had for my life, because my marriage was not working like it was supposed to. It's like. You know, julie, the Bible says you're supposed to submit to your husband and you know I'm supposed to take care of you. But if this is the way I want to go, that's what you're supposed to do. So I thought, man, maybe I married the wrong person, and I share that. We did work through that, obviously, but I share that because whether we're married or single, it's easy to fall into that kind of thinking that we're not where we're supposed to be, that something is wrong with our situation, that if I'm single I'm not where I'm supposed to be.

Speaker 1: 16:28

Or if I'm married maybe I'm in a difficult marriage or what sometimes feels like a one-sided marriage I took a wrong turn somewhere and I'm not where I'm supposed to be. I'm not in the situation that where God can lead my life where it's supposed to go and bless my life. It's easy to fall into that thinking, and if only our relationship status could change. If only I was married, or if only I wasn married, or if only I wasn't married, or if only I were in a better marriage or married to a different person, then life would make more sense. But what Paul is saying here in this passage is that wherever it is that you are, whether you're married, whether you're in a great marriage, whether you're in a difficult marriage, whether you're in a one-sided marriage or whether you're unmarried you are right where you're supposed to be in this season of life that God has given you, and your marriage or your singleness is God's gift and he wants to use it, and he wants to use that gift in this season to do important work in you and through you. So there's nothing wrong with your situation. God wants to work in and through your situation, and we need to know how God does that relative to the situation that we're in. So we're going to get some help with that with marriage this week and with singleness next week.

Speaker 1: 17:47

But that's the point that I just want to lay out here at the beginning is that both of those situations are gifts. So the application for us is to embrace the gift. Your relationship status, whatever it is, whether you're unmarried or happily married or in a difficult marriage. It might not feel like a gift because you wish that it were different, but it is a gift. Might not feel like a gift because you wish that it were different, but it is a gift. And what faith looks like for you here is to stop focusing on changing your situation or stop focusing on changing your spouse and focus instead on being faithful to God in your situation, in whatever situation you're in. Next week we're going to look at how to do that with singleness and how to make the most of our singleness.

Speaker 1: 18:36

But if you're in a difficult marriage, for example, how you embrace the gift is you focus not on changing your marriage or on changing your spouse, but you focus on God changing you. How can you become a better, more faithful husband or a better, more faithful wife, and that's the focus Julie and I have had seasons of difficulty in our marriage, but by God's grace we've stayed married and as we look back on them we realize that those difficult seasons, however painful they were, were a gift they were. I'm glad that they happened, because they were used by God to do important heart work and to make important changes in our heart and character that otherwise we would have missed out on. So they're both a gift. Embrace the gift. How do we embrace the gift of marriage? That leads us to point two, the task of marriage.

Speaker 1: 19:30

The point here is that a happy marriage or a marriage without problems, a happy marriage, won't fix your life. You think that it will, but it won't. You think that, man, if I could just solve this issue in my marriage or if I could just get a marriage, then my life issues would be fixed? They won't be. A happy marriage won't fix your life, but marriage is an arena where Jesus can fix your life. Jesus works through marriage to do work in your heart, to make you look more like him and to save you from the sins that beset you. So, just getting into this, every marriage, every marriage, even the most one-sided, difficult marriages, every marriage can become satisfying and joyful. Every marriage can become satisfying and joyful, but every marriage, even the most happy marriages, every marriage is very, very hard work. Marriage will be the greatest and most difficult endeavor of your life. I've done some difficult things in my life starting a business, planting a church, remodeling a kitchen. Marriage will be the greatest and most difficult endeavor of your life, the most difficult but also the best.

Speaker 1: 20:55

So as Paul talks about the goodness of marriage, he also impresses upon the Corinthians the responsibilities of marriage, and he mentions at least three. The first is generosity. There were some Corinthians in the church who were married and they were saying I'm done with sex. I lived that lifestyle, I had that sexually broken past and now I'm done with that. I'm never going to touch a woman again, not even my wife. We're just going to live as roommates and best friends.

Speaker 1: 21:24

And look again at Paul's response. In verses two through five he says but because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband, for the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does Likewise. The husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you may devote yourselves to prayer but then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. So here's what Paul is saying to those who are zealous to deny themselves. He says hey to deny themselves. He says hey, it is good to deny yourself, but it is not good to deny your spouse. He says you know, deny like I'm all about self-denial and fasting and all that, but it is not good to deny your spouse because of the temptation to sexual immorality.

Speaker 1: 22:27

One of the key tasks of marriage is to give yourself generously to your spouse. Paul says do not deprive one another. For those of us who are married, we should be seeking to please our spouse physically, emotionally and spiritually, to connect with them physically, emotionally and spiritually, to give ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually, even if our desire is not strong, we have the responsibility to be generous with our spouse. We should get to know what makes our spouse feel connected, what makes them feel satisfied, what makes them feel loved and seen and heard, and to be generous with one another. Here's what this can mean for me. One another. Here's what this can mean for me. My wife, for example, tells me this all the time she absolutely loves nice. Here's how she puts it nice touch that is non-sexual, billy, she puts that caveat in there the nice touch that is non-sexual. So brushing her hair, rubbing her back, for me to be generous with her often means that I take time and energy to give her nice touch, expecting nothing in return. Be generous with one another.

Speaker 1: 23:39

There can be reasons to abstain. Paul mentions this, and he mentions one that you may devote yourselves to prayer. There are other reasons. What if, in a marriage, what if you go through a season where one of the partners in that marriage is undergoing cancer treatment? Or what if the wife has just had a baby? Or what if the husband is in a season where he's absolutely overwhelmed with work? There can be times where we abstain. There can be times where we abstain. There can be times where we abstain, but the key here there's two keys is that these times are limited. Paul says this is not a permanent thing, this is for a limited time, and that these are done by agreement. He says by agreement and for a limited time, which means that we communicate with one another, we let our needs be known, we listen to the needs of our spouse the communication is key and that we agree with one another. And if it's for a limited time and there's an agreement, then that can be appropriate.

Speaker 1: 24:42

But when Paul calls spouses to give themselves to one another, he's not asking us to do anything that Jesus has not already done for us. Jesus who gave up his body for his bride, the church, not out of obligation but out of love. A sexless marriage is not good. So how can we grow in being generous with our spouse? So generosity is one of the first tasks of marriage. The second is tenacity. Generosity is one of the first tasks of marriage. The second is tenacity. Being married means, obviously, that you never give up on the relationship.

Speaker 1: 25:19

Listen to Paul in verses 10 and 11. He says to the married I give this charge and he wants to lay it down seriously for them. He says, not I, but the Lord. The wife should not separate from her husband, but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband and the husband should not divorce his wife. So Paul is saying hey, you need to know that marriage is good. It's a good gift of God. You should pursue it. But if you're going to pursue it, you need to know that you're getting into a relationship that you can never give up on, no matter how difficult it gets.

Speaker 1: 25:50

Separation and divorce are just not an option. That's not on the table for us. And while there are biblical reasons for divorce and Paul mentions one in this passage that we'll look at here in a moment aside from those reasons, for the most part this is a lifelong commitment. We are in it for life. So whatever difficulties arise, we are in it for life. So whatever difficulties arise, we're forced to figure out how to work it out together, and that means that we need tenacity, and that's one of the geniuses of marriage. That's how God puts us into situations where our character absolutely has to change. Absolutely has to change because marriage is, it's a lifelong commitment and we need tenacity.

Speaker 1: 26:35

There's a Gandhi quote on the wall of our gym that you've probably heard before. It goes like this strength does not come from physical capacity, it comes from an indomitable will. So Gandhi's saying what makes a person strong, it's not how much you can lift, it's not your muscle mass, it's your will. It's an indomitable will, and I think he's right that what makes somebody strong, what makes someone a great fighter or a great businessman or a great leader or a great husband, is not physical capacity. It is a will that cannot be defeated, an indomitable will. A will that we're losing is not an option. Defeat is not an option. That's the tenacity that we have to have with our marriages that this has to work. We have no other choice. We have to work it out.

Speaker 1: 27:23

Whatever problems we have, god's calling for us is to stay married and to keep pursuing intimacy with one another and to work through these issues. And as we do that, we are living in an arena where God can do a mighty work in us. That as we stay married and work through these things, god begins to change us. He begins to change you so that when you are out of the woods, when you're out of the difficult season that you're changed, you resemble more and more Jesus Christ from one degree of glory to the next. So we don't stay in marriage because it's easy or because we want to, or because we're trapped. We stay in marriage because God has stayed with us, that he is the faithful spouse who never gives up on His bride. Even when we've wandered, even when we've rejected Him, he has stayed with us and he gives us His Spirit to empower that kind of tenacity and covenant love. So generosity, tenacity. And then the third thing is long-suffering hope. This is the third aspect of the task of marriage.

Speaker 1: 28:36

In verse 12 through 16, paul addresses those who are in a one-sided marriage. When the gospel came to Corinth and to other cities in the ancient world, it was not uncommon at all for one spouse to become a Christian and the other didn't. So, for whatever reason, they both hear the gospel. One of them responds and becomes a Christian, but the other's not there yet. So suddenly they're in a mixed marriage where you've got a believer and an unbeliever now married together. And these new Christians are wondering okay, I've become a Christian, I'm a new creation. My spouse didn't follow me into this. Should I now separate from my unbelieving spouse, since they didn't become a Christian? And Paul's answer is really fascinating. He says look, if they abandon you, if they don't consent to live with you, and if they run out the door, you're not bound. And this is one of those legitimate reasons for divorce is abandonment if your spouse abandons you. But then he says this but if they consent to live with you, stay married. Paul says stay in the difficult marriage. Stay in the one-sided marriage, and I know how much you wish that you were married to a believing person. Stay in the one-sided marriage, and I know how much you wish that you were married to a believing person. Stay in the difficult marriage, why? Well, a few notes on this In Tim Keller's the Meaning of Marriage, which I think is one of the most helpful books on the subject of marriage that I've read.

Speaker 1: 30:04

So if you haven't read it, I recommend it. In that book he says that if you're in a difficult season, if you're in a difficult marriage, he says don't work on changing your spouse. Don't work on changing your marriage. Work on you becoming a better spouse. And he says and if you both do that, if you both work on becoming a better spouse, give it five years time and in five years you'll be in a different marriage. Your marriage will be healthier and happier. But then he asks but what if only one of you does that? What if only one of you is a believer? What if only one of you is committed to the marriage? What if only one of you puts in the work and the other one doesn't. And he says so. In other words, what if your marriage is one-sided? And he says, even if only one of you does, that there's still a really good chance that in five years you're going to have a healthier, happier marriage, because the power of one sometimes is enough.

Speaker 1: 30:56

And Paul backs that up. He says two things in this regard. In verse 14, follow me here, because this is really fascinating he says the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. It doesn't say that they are saved necessarily, but that they are made holy because of the marriage. And that's pretty remarkable because what that means is that if you are faithful to God and if you're working on being a better spouse, if you're following Jesus in your marriage, paul is saying your influence on them is always going to be greater than their influence on you. They are made holy by the believing spouse. You're going to have an impact on them. And then, in verse 16, he says how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Speaker 1: 31:51

When we lived in Dayton, we ministered with a family that at one time was a mixed marriage. So it was one of these situations where neither the husband and wife married years ago, neither of them were Christians, but later in life the wife became a Christian. So she came to Christ first, and her husband for many years was not a believer, and it was really painful. For many years she had the experience of going to church alone, pursuing the Lord by herself, without that companion in her husband, and grieving that her husband was not there yet. And so what she did at the end of the day was she stopped trying to change her husband and stopped trying to pressure him and to make him become a Christian, but she focused on just her being a godly wife and she prayed. She prayed for her husband, and one night she was praying with a friend for her husband and she had an unusually intense prayer session together with her friend for her husband. And the next morning her husband went on a morning run as he normally did, and during that run he gave his life to Christ and submitted himself, and he became a Christian, not through her nagging him or pressuring him or forcing him, but through her quiet obedience to the Lord and her praying for her husband and I'm not saying that this is always the story, because it's not guaranteed.

Speaker 1: 33:21

But what Paul is saying is that even in a one-sided marriage, even if you're the only one putting in the work, there is still hope, there's a great amount of hope. The same is true with our children. That's why Paul says your children are holy. You're going to have an impact and an influence on them. They have a special status. They're holy. If we're faithful to God, it will have an impact on them. And so the task of marriage is to hold on to that long-suffering hope. And even if your spouse never comes to Christ or if you never see the fruit of that, god sees you and he delights in your faithfulness and your life and your time and your effort is not wasted but is a fragrant offering to him.

Speaker 1: 34:07

So marriage is hard work and all of us need to know that. Whether we are married or whether we're pursuing marriage, it's not all it's cracked up to be. It's very hard work, but it is work that changes you. And singleness has a similar work where Jesus changes us in singleness. But if we pursue these things in marriage, jesus uses them to change our own heart and our own character. But we have to end with the key to all of this, and that is the key of contentment. So here's point three, the key of contentment Fixing your life isn't so much about changing your circumstances, but it's about changing your heart in any circumstance. Not so much about changing your circumstances, but changing your heart and your character in any circumstance.

Speaker 1: 34:58

In verses 17 through 24, paul broadens the discussion from marriage and he highlights a bigger principle, which is contentment in all circumstances. Look at verse 17. Paul says only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him and to which God has called him. So Paul is talking about here, when he says the life that God has assigned to him or her. He's talking about the life that God has sovereignly assigned, the lot in life that has landed to us, the situation in which we find ourselves, the lot in life that has landed to us, the situation in which we find ourselves. Paul is saying learn to follow Jesus in the circumstances in which he found you. Don't worry so much about changing your job or changing your marital status or changing your financial situation None of those things are bad. But worry about following Jesus in your circumstances. None of those things are bad, but worry about following Jesus in your circumstances. In verse 20, he says each one should remain in the condition in which he was called. So in other words and he gives some examples here if you were a Jew, stay a Jew who now believes in Jesus.

Speaker 1: 36:04

Don't seek to obliterate your cultural and ethnic heritage. Stay a Jew who believes in Jesus. Obliterate your cultural and ethnic heritage. Stay a Jew who believes in Jesus. If you were a Greek when called, you don't need to become a Jew. Stay a Greek. Stay with your cultural and ethnic heritage a Greek who is now a Christian. If you were a slave when called, don't be too concerned about it. Serve Jesus Christ in your station in life as a bond servant. If you were married in your station in life as a bond servant. If you were married, serve Jesus in your marriage. If you were a carpenter, serve Jesus now as a carpenter. If you were a lawyer, serve him as a lawyer. If you were a soldier of the Roman Empire, serve Jesus even as a soldier of the Roman Empire, and so on.

Speaker 1: 36:48

And the key to that would be contentment that we would learn to be content in whatever situation that God has put us in. Whether we're married or single, whether we are in a one-sided or a difficult marriage, whether we are widowed or a widower, we need to learn the secret of being content in all circumstances. So how do we be content with suboptimal circumstances? In all of our lives there is some amount of suboptimal circumstance that we're living in. How do we learn to be content with that? Well, two things.

Speaker 1: 37:21

The first thing is to notice that Paul is calling for contentment, but contentment doesn't mean complacency, because he says hey, if you're a bond servant, if you've fallen into debt, slavery, don't be too concerned about it. You're a freed man in the Lord. He says if you can improve your situation, avail yourself to the opportunity, don't be complacent, but don't be needlessly discouraged because of the situation you're in. So it doesn't mean complacency. And then he says and don't fall into slavery, so don't let your situation become worse. And if you can improve it, then by all means do so. So contentment doesn't mean complacency.

Speaker 1: 38:00

But the second thing is that we have to remember the gospel and we have to set our mind not just on our earthly circumstances, the circumstances right in front of us, but on gospel circumstances, because according to the gospel, you have been set free from sin's dominion. According to the gospel, all of your sins have been forgiven. You are a son or a daughter of the almighty God, and his love and his favor and His protection follow you wherever you go, your Savior is interceding for you. God always hears your prayers and the Savior is working in your life to bring you into a glorious future that he has in store for you, because Jesus died for our salvation. So those are the gospel circumstances, and it's only when those circumstances become real to you and tangible to you that you can then be content in any circumstance, in any earthly circumstance, even in the loneliness of celibacy and singleness, or even in the bitterness of a difficult marriage, because you don't get your contentment from your earthly circumstances. You get it from your heavenly circumstances. So that's where we have to look for that to be content.

Speaker 1: 39:15

I counseled a young man who went through a difficult divorce. It was a divorce that he did not want, and one thing that became clear to both of us as and he wasn't a believer, but we were working through that together and one thing that became clear to both of us as and he wasn't a believer, but we were working through that together and one thing that became clear to both of us as we were working through his issues was his obsession with having a romantic relationship. He could not be content on his own. He did not know how to handle himself as someone who didn't have a significant other, and this made him very, very vulnerable to bad relationships. I watched him as he grappled with that and I was trying to counsel him like learn to be content as a single man and only then will it be safe for you to engage in a romantic relationship. But he wasn't able to get there and I watched him get hooked into relationships that were just killing him because he could not learn to be content as a single man. A big factor in that is that he was not yet a Christian, so he had nothing higher to tap into in terms of contentment and he looked to his earthly romantic relationships to make him content. So when he has one, his life is good, but when he doesn't have one, he just can't cope. It made him so vulnerable to bad relationships and bad situations.

Speaker 1: 40:39

Similarly for you, if you cannot learn contentment in your suboptimal situation right now, whether that be your marriage, your singleness, your job, your station in life, wherever it is that you are. If you cannot learn contentment in your suboptimal situation right now and all of us are living in some kind of suboptimal situation you will be vulnerable to getting hooked into bad situations because you'll be desperate to cling onto anything that can change your situation, even if it's bad for you, even if it will do you much harm in the process. So we have to learn contentment wherever it is that God has placed us. So two applications here as we close. The first learn contentment in Jesus Christ. One profound experience of his love for you is able to obliterate a thousand years of loneliness. With Jesus, we can be content in any situation If we understand who he is, if we're connected to him and abiding in him, because he's all that we've ever been looking for. He's all that we need. He's the true husband who gives up his body for you. He's the true husband who is tenaciously committed to you and is never going to give up on his relationship with you, and he's never going to give up on bringing you into his eternal kingdom, even if you sometimes give up on him. No one will ever love you like Jesus Christ loves you and abiding in that love and tapping into that love is the key to contentment and faithfulness in every situation, however painful they are and I know that some of you are in painful situations we have to tap into the love of Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1: 42:25

Next week we're going to focus on singleness and how to be faithful as single people. This week, of course, I'm mainly speaking to those of us who are married. But let's do this. Let's embrace the gift that marriage is, even if it's hard. Let's pursue the task of marriage generosity, tenacity and long-suffering hope and let's get our contentment from heaven, learn to get it from heaven that we might joyfully endure any earthly situation that God has put us in and called us to be faithful in in this moment. To these ends, let us pray Our Father. We thank you for your good gifts, we thank you for the gift of marriage and I want to pray for the marriages represented in this room right now.

Speaker 1: 43:14

In this congregation, we pray for the marriages in our church, lord, sometimes our marriages feel one-sided, sometimes we feel poorly matched and poorly bonded.

Speaker 1: 43:30

Sometimes marriage is just difficult, and for others of us we're in a happy and a good season of marriage and for that we give you thanks. But we pray, god, that you would give us encouragement and hope to commit ourselves to the challenging task of marriage, knowing that, as we are faithful to you, that you will use it for good and that you will work out our salvation in and through it. And we pray, god, that you would lead us to peaceful and generous and good and healthy marriages. Father, for those of us who are unmarried, we pray that you would give us courage and strength and, especially next week, that you would give us a vision for how to best use this season of life. That you would give us courage and strength and, especially next week, that you would give us a vision for how to best use this season of life that you have us in, whether it be a temporary season or whether it be the remainder of our days. Lord, help us with that as well. And all of this we ask in the name of Jesus, amen.